{"id":3057,"date":"2019-02-22T08:26:40","date_gmt":"2019-02-22T14:26:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/?p=3057"},"modified":"2019-02-21T21:45:02","modified_gmt":"2019-02-22T03:45:02","slug":"this-is-me-strength-beneath-squish","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/2019\/02\/22\/this-is-me-strength-beneath-squish\/","title":{"rendered":"This Is Me, Strength Beneath Squish"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em>Why the Struggle with\nBody Image Isn\u2019t an Overnight Fix <\/em><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><em>This post is part of a\npartnership with&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/dupagecounty.fit4mom.com\/\">FIT4MOM\nDuPage County<\/a>. All opinions are my own.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I started 2019 off disenchanted. I avoided my skinny jeans. I\nfound solace in the brilliance of leggings and long slouchy sweaters. I took entire\nbursts of photos just to find one shot where the angle was flattering enough. Every\ntime I looked in the mirror, I felt <em>all<\/em>\nthe emotions: Denial. Disgust. Frustration. Guilt. Regret. And utter\npowerlessness to change anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just seven weeks ago, my self-image was at a low that I haven\u2019t felt since the gut-wrenching instability of high school. It wasn\u2019t the same <a href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/2018\/05\/30\/in-praise-of-one-little-pill\/\">depression I experienced as an adolescent<\/a> because I just kept pushing through and doing all the things that I have to do as a mom. I still had moments of genuine happiness and joy amid the fog (<em>so it really wasn\u2019t that bad, <\/em>I told myself). But most of the time, I was just existing, going through the motions and spinning my wheels instead of ever getting ahead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The self-love that I had been cultivating piece by piece over\nthe past two years was suddenly shredded. I couldn\u2019t shake the belief that I\u2019d\nhad <em>everything<\/em> I wanted (energy \u2013 strength\n\u2013 confidence \u2013 calm) and then I <em>ruined<\/em>\nit in a tornado of excess. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I couldn\u2019t let go of this anger\/guilt shame spiral. But I\ncouldn\u2019t move forward if I didn\u2019t let it go. Something had to change. So I did\nwhat I always do: I signed up for the winter session of FIT4MOM Body Back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5861BEDD-1B6C-4136-8BE4-C27DEB479C53-e1550726572464.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"825\" height=\"590\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5861BEDD-1B6C-4136-8BE4-C27DEB479C53-e1550726572464.jpeg\" alt=\"This Is Me, Strength Beneat Squish: One Mom's Struggle With Body Image and Self-Acceptance #fitnessmotivation #bodyimage #selflove\" class=\"wp-image-3067\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5861BEDD-1B6C-4136-8BE4-C27DEB479C53-e1550726572464.jpeg 825w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5861BEDD-1B6C-4136-8BE4-C27DEB479C53-e1550726572464-300x215.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5861BEDD-1B6C-4136-8BE4-C27DEB479C53-e1550726572464-768x549.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5861BEDD-1B6C-4136-8BE4-C27DEB479C53-e1550726572464-84x60.jpeg 84w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 825px) 100vw, 825px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Flash forward seven weeks. Seven weeks of eating clean. Seven weeks of listening to my body, working out less and taking the low-impact option. Seven weeks of practicing kindness to myself. Seven weeks of getting real honest about what <em>I<\/em> need.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And then \u2026 the a-ha moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They say it takes 4 weeks for you to notice a difference in\nyour body, 8 weeks for your friends and family to see it, and 12 weeks for the\nrest of the world to notice. It doesn\u2019t surprise me to discover that my body\nimage IQ is skewed and I\u2019m behind the curve. It takes me at least 6 weeks to\nacknowledge my own efforts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The time between the sixth and seventh weeks is always when\nit starts to come together for me \u2013 just when I\u2019m about ready to give up and\ngive in with a well-deserved glass of wine and chocolate, the magic happens and\nthe hard work becomes visible. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"1024\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849.jpeg\" alt=\"This Is Me, Strength Beneat Squish: One Mom's Struggle With Body Image and Self-Acceptance #fitnessmotivation #bodyimage #selflove\" class=\"wp-image-3065\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849-150x150.jpeg 150w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849-300x300.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849-768x768.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849-500x500.jpeg 500w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849-435x435.jpeg 435w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/54B9CA72-2F18-4770-819D-807B788CE1D3-e1550726711849-60x60.jpeg 60w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/a><figcaption><em>Me, tired, mostly make-up free &#8230; and happy<\/em><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>It caught me off guard this time. I was getting ready in the\nmorning in front of the bathroom mirror like I always do, and I got a glimpse\nof my body in profile. For the first time in a long time, I didn\u2019t hate what I\nsaw.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then I went to a bra fitting at Nordstrom, where I basically\nstared at my half-naked body in that series of dressing room mirrors for a\nsolid half hour. I snapped a picture. I had an epiphany.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/A1B32EC4-AC06-43A3-BA86-517DCE52284F.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"664\" height=\"1024\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/A1B32EC4-AC06-43A3-BA86-517DCE52284F.jpeg\" alt=\"This Is Me, Strength Beneat Squish: One Mom's Struggle With Body Image and Self-Acceptance #fitnessmotivation #bodyimage #selflove\" class=\"wp-image-3062\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/A1B32EC4-AC06-43A3-BA86-517DCE52284F.jpeg 664w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/A1B32EC4-AC06-43A3-BA86-517DCE52284F-194x300.jpeg 194w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/A1B32EC4-AC06-43A3-BA86-517DCE52284F-768x1185.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/A1B32EC4-AC06-43A3-BA86-517DCE52284F-39x60.jpeg 39w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 664px) 100vw, 664px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Never in my life have I been the girl to wear a bikini.\nNever have I been the person to post an underwear selfie to social media. But\nwhen I took that picture, I felt proud. Proud of my progress and proud of the\nresults. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><em>This is me. <\/em><\/h5>\n\n\n\n<p>I see a tummy that grew two babies. Easton lovingly molds it like Play-Doh, kisses it, and asks me if it will always be so squishy. I tell him, yes it probably will, the better it makes a pillow for his head when we\u2019re reading before bed. Then I flex my abs and show him the strength underneath the squish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/D070CE10-9FAE-4497-9E97-8E3D89F2226E.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"1024\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/D070CE10-9FAE-4497-9E97-8E3D89F2226E.jpeg\" alt=\"This Is Me, Strength Beneat Squish: One Mom's Struggle With Body Image and Self-Acceptance #fitnessmotivation #bodyimage #selflove\" class=\"wp-image-3064\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/D070CE10-9FAE-4497-9E97-8E3D89F2226E.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/D070CE10-9FAE-4497-9E97-8E3D89F2226E-225x300.jpeg 225w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/D070CE10-9FAE-4497-9E97-8E3D89F2226E-45x60.jpeg 45w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>I see jiggle in my triceps. Sawyer hangs off those arms like the little monkey he is. Those arms can still handle that 37-pound 3-year-old like a boss, when he\u2019s having a tantrum and needs to be wrestled under one arm out of there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I see love handles. I see stretch marks. I see cellulite. I see a million other \u201cflaws\u201d \u2026 except they\u2019re not really. They\u2019re just another part of me like my lips or my eyes, and I won\u2019t let them carry the emotional weight that was weighing me down at the beginning of the year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5B5DEE45-DD06-49BA-99F0-6D9645895C67-e1550726331933.jpeg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"682\" height=\"865\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5B5DEE45-DD06-49BA-99F0-6D9645895C67-e1550726331933.jpeg\" alt=\"This Is Me, Strength Beneat Squish: One Mom's Struggle With Body Image and Self-Acceptance #fitnessmotivation #bodyimage #selflove\" class=\"wp-image-3063\" srcset=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5B5DEE45-DD06-49BA-99F0-6D9645895C67-e1550726331933.jpeg 682w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5B5DEE45-DD06-49BA-99F0-6D9645895C67-e1550726331933-237x300.jpeg 237w, https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/5B5DEE45-DD06-49BA-99F0-6D9645895C67-e1550726331933-47x60.jpeg 47w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 682px) 100vw, 682px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Whatever my assessment metrics clock in at and whatever the final number on the scale shows, I have everything I need right now: my confidence back. My self-image under repair. A lightness to my spirit once again that mirrors the newfound lightness in my body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is me, raw, exposed \u2026 and rocking it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"200\" height=\"130\" loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/Signature-e1523470736535.png\" alt=\"XOXO Kate #NeverDoneWithFun signature\" class=\"wp-image-258\"\/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Interested in FIT4MOM fitness? <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/fit4mom.com\/locations\"><em>Try a class<\/em><\/a><em> \u2013 your first one is always free. Keep following my fitness journey here and <\/em><a href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/neverdonewithfun\/\"><em>on Instagram<\/em><\/a><em> for daily inspiration and ideas.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Why the Struggle with Body Image Isn\u2019t an Overnight Fix This post is part of a partnership with&nbsp;FIT4MOM DuPage County. All opinions are my own. I started 2019 off disenchanted. I avoided my skinny jeans. I found solace in the brilliance of leggings and long slouchy sweaters. I took entire bursts of photos just to &hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3061,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[9,144,142,141,140],"class_list":["post-3057","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nourish","tag-body-back","tag-body-image","tag-fitness-journey","tag-self-confidence","tag-self-image","latest_post"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>This Is Me, Strength Beneath Squish | #NeverDoneWithFun<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/neverdonewithfun.com\/staging\/5228\/2019\/02\/22\/this-is-me-strength-beneath-squish\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This Is Me, Strength Beneath Squish | #NeverDoneWithFun\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Why the Struggle with Body Image Isn\u2019t an Overnight Fix This post is part of a partnership with&nbsp;FIT4MOM DuPage County. 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