It has been 42 days since I last stepped on the scale. 42 days of summer. 42 days of summer eating and drinking.
It’s not dread that’s keeping me off the scale this summer. On the contrary: I’m very tempted to step on tomorrow morning (first thing in the morning, naked, naturally) and see where I’m at. I haven’t been eating as clean lately, and I know the scale will reflect that.
But I’m resisting the temptation and taking this summer to transform my mindset.
Over the past year, I’ve worked hard to make fitness a priority and a lifestyle, eating clean and working out consistently. The dedication has paid off, as I’m down almost 50 pounds. I keep doing what I’m doing because I like how I feel and I like how I look and I like having energy and confidence that I’ve never had before.
But on this fitness journey over the past year, the scale has played a prominent role. Until this May, I weighed myself religiously, twice a week on Tuesday morning and Saturday morning. It was how I kept myself motivated and accountable: a twice-weekly check-in to make sure I was still on track.
While this strict routine did keep me accountable, it has slowly deteriorated into something less than motivating.
Instead, I was living and dying by that number on the scale. If the scale was down, I felt validated. But if the scale hadn’t changed – or worse, was up – I felt guilty. Frustrated. Discouraged. Depressed. I was defining myself and my worth solely by 3 digits on the scale instead of focusing on everything else that goes into this journey to my best self and healthiest lifestyle.
When a routine doesn’t work anymore, it’s time for a change. So in May, when I stepped on the scale for my final weigh-in to end the 8-week Body Back session, I vowed to stay off the scale.
The month of May happened. I got in my workouts but I ate less than clean. I didn’t log my food. I lived life and enjoyed it. I gave myself grace. And I stayed off the scale.
But over Memorial Day weekend, I had a friend’s wedding that I had bought THE DRESS for. A dress one size smaller than I ever thought I’d wear, and one that barely zipped a couple of months earlier. Without getting on the scale, I knew I needed a little reset before rocking that dress.
That was the first turning point: I could recognize when I needed a reset without the negative spiral of shame associated with the scale. I didn’t need a number to tell me the less-healthy choices I’d been making were taking their toll. I could tell by the way my body felt and the way I looked in the mirror.
I trusted my body and did a 10-day reset: No sugar. No alcohol. Lots of water and lots of veggies. On the evening of the wedding, I zipped that dress and felt good in my skin again.
But as I was going out the door, I couldn’t help myself: I stepped on the scale again.
And that was the second turning point: After a month of ups and downs of maintenance and self-regulation, the number on the scale was actually lower than I had started with earlier in the month.
That was 42 days ago. I haven’t stepped back on the scale since then. I have had more ups and downs since then, focusing more on living my life than sticking strictly to fitness. I’m not going to kid myself that I can see a difference in the mirror.
But this summer, I’m listening to my body and retiring the scale. Instead of relying on an arbitrary number to tell me how to eat or how much to work out, I’m trusting myself. I know that when I eat like crap, I feel like crap. I know that how my clothes fit is a better indicator than a number on the scale will ever be. I know that I am so much more than a number.
What I’ve discovered on this fitness journey is that you must surround yourself with what serves you and let go of what doesn’t. The scale no longer serves me. Guilt and shame and frustration don’t serve me. And so the scale will stay, pushed into a corner of the bathroom, gathering dust.
What serves you? How do you stay on track? I’d love to hear your tips with #NeverDoneWithFun!
