On Defining Your Worth with Arbitrary Metrics
Dear mama in the mirror,
I see you, screwing up your face in dissatisfaction. Sucking in your tummy, daydreaming of even the tiniest thigh gap. I see you squeezing into those smaller jeans. I see you tugging down that skirt to hide a little more.
I see you defining your worth by numbers: Weight. Measurements. Inches. Clothing sizes. Races and paces and distances. Personal records. Benchmarks. I see you ecstatic when you meet your own sky-high expectations … and crushed when you don’t.
I see you constantly pushing for more. Thinner. Tighter. Faster. Stronger.
But what about happier, mama? What about content?
Do all those numbers make you happy — or are they a distraction, a mark to achieve to prove your worth to yourself at last?
“I’ll be happy if I could just …”
Lose the last 10 pounds. Run a 6-minute mile. Wear a size 4 again. Weigh 120. Finish a marathon.
Chase those goals, mama, if they really make you happy. But don’t tie your worth to those goals. Because when you lose the 10 pounds or clock in at 6:59 instead of 7:02, you’ll just find a new number to obsess over.
I know what it’s like to have that voice in your head, starting at a whisper but building to a deafening crescendo. Louder and louder. Faster and faster. More and more and more.
Quiet it.
You are worth it at size 4 or 6 or 10 or 16. You are good enough whether you run a mile in 6 minutes or walk it in 14. You don’t have to finish a marathon to know your own strength and you don’t have to weigh 120 to give yourself permission to like what you see in the mirror. Those stubborn 10 pounds are no reflection of your discipline, your drive, or your determination.
What makes you strong … is doing the hard things even when you don’t want to. What makes you beautiful … is the confidence that comes with contentment.
Chase those dreams, mama. Celebrate your progress, not only your victories. Practice radical self-acceptance. Dig deep for confidence. Cultivate calm.
Press pause on the relentless pursuit of more. You don’t need more. You just need now.
Be here now, and love yourself exactly where you’re at. You are so much more than a number — and believing it is so much harder than any benchmark will ever be.
