10 Essentials for Breastfeeding Success
It’s World Breastfeeding Week and it’s the first one in more than 5 years that I haven’t been either pregnant or nursing someone through. I’m feeling that pang, missing the incredible bond of nursing my babies. Though I wouldn’t go back to those sleepless nights for anything, there was something indescribably peaceful about being awake at 3 AM when the whole world is quiet, feeding your baby in the stillness of the night. It felt like you and your little one were the only two in the world awake.
But anyone who’s breastfed knows that it’s not all snuggles and sweetness. Breastfeeding remains one of the single hardest things I have done in my life. It’s painful, frustrating, exhausting, beautiful and infinitely rewarding all at the same time.
Breastfeeding did not come naturally for either of my boys. With Easton, it was painful every single feed until he was 8 weeks old. We saw lactation consultants. We tried new techniques and positions. Many things helped but nothing solved the problem. Then I got a round of mastitis – a truly humbling experience – and after that, something changed and suddenly breastfeeding was easier. We kept going until Easton was 17 months old, when he weaned himself.
With Sawyer, I was prepared for the worst. And yet I wasn’t, because babies always find a way to surprise you. At first, breastfeeding seemed to be going well. My milk came in right away and there was tons of it. But the feeds got progressively more painful and my nipples more damaged. I saw several lactation consultants until one finally diagnosed Sawyer (instantly!) with a lip and tongue tie. He was 8 weeks old.
We got his ties revised and continued our breastfeeding journey, but the pain persisted. I’m incredibly stubborn, so I persisted too. Somewhere around 5 months old, the pain finally went away. (Our LC theorized that his mouth was finally a right size to eliminate the pain.) It seemed like Sawyer might be my nursling forever, and he nursed at night until well after 2 years old. In true second-child fashion, I lost track of exactly when he self-weaned.
But finally, he did and my body was my own once again. After four combined years of nursing, it was time. I was ready for it.
Nothing can prepare you for the realities of breastfeeding beforehand, but there are definitely some things that can help to ease your journey. Here’s my list of essentials for every breastfeeding mom.
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10 Things Every Breastfeeding Mom Needs for Success
1. A breastfeeding pillow (or three)
Yes, I breastfed for an endless amount of time, but I can say that me and my babies were never particularly good at it. Both of my boys like to lie on a nursing pillow while breastfeeding for well longer than they needed to.
In the newborn days, a breastfeeding pillow is essential to get the position correct. The Boppy is the most popular – a C-shaped pillow that lies on your lap and baby lies on top. Boppy didn’t work for me because I’m long-waisted. I simply couldn’t get my babies high enough on the Boppy. Boppy, however, did work great for us for lounging, tummy time, and help working on sitting. So even if it doesn’t work for you for breastfeeding, it’s one of my newborn essentials.
We loved our Boppy, even if it didn’t work for breastfeeding for us!
A lactation consultant suggested the My Breast Friend pillow, and this was my lifesaver. It is a memory foam pillow, firmer than the Boppy, and it clasps around your waist so it can be cinched tight and the height adjusted.
Using the My Breast Friend from the very first nursing session with Sawyer. The only thing I packed for the hospital for Baby #2!
I preferred the cotton cover version but there’s also a deluxe version with a plush minky cover.
It was so effective for us that I ended up with three of them – one for the upstairs, one for the downstairs, and one for my car for nursing on the go. Yes, it seems like overkill but when you have a baby who won’t latch and eat properly without their My Breast Friend, you buy as many as needed to simplify your life.
Because babies spit up frequently, especially in the early days, investing in a spare washable cover is a good idea too. There are lots of cute Boppy covers and My Breast Friend covers.
Still using the My Breast Friend pillow on his 1-year nurse-iversary. What can I say? Eating on a pillow is comfortable!
2. All the nipple cream
Even if your baby’s latch is perfect (and I sincerely hope for you that it is but it probably won’t be), your nipples get sore and damaged in the early days. Find a nipple cream to apply after feeds to help repair the damage. I used Lansinoh lanolin religiously. It’s 100% natural, safe for baby to ingest and a little goes a long way – I’m proud to say that one purple tube got me through the entire breastfeeding journey with Easton. (Incidentally, it’s also great for chapped lips, dry patches of skin, and cuts.)
With Sawyer, I had to bring in the big guns. His ties left my nipples cracked and bleeding, and even Lansinoh wasn’t cutting it. A friend suggested a prescription for Dr. Jack Newman’s All-Purpose Nipple Ointment. This stuff is magical, friends. I called my OB and got the script. It has to be made at a compounding pharmacy, but it’s worth the minor hassle of finding one. Every single breastfeeding problem I had with Sawyer was corrected with the magic APNO. If you only do one thing, do this one: Request APNO from your OB.
3. A comfortable nursing nook
You’re going to spend a lot of time nursing. Countless hours. For an embarrassingly long time, I used an app on my phone to track breastfeeding. The data didn’t serve a whole lot of purpose except to be able to say that I spent ### hours breastfeeding Sawyer during the first year alone.
So set up a space where you’re comfortable nursing. I recommend the nursery, as it makes sense to have it as close to where Baby will sleep as possible. My Dutailier glider with nursing ottoman was a lifesaver, and I used that footrest for the duration of our journey as well. Nowadays there are so many lovely, comfortable and plush options. Go to a baby furniture store, sit in all of them, and pick what feels best.
My favorite:
I set up a small side table next to the glider where I could keep my phone, water bottle, snacks, and anything else I might need while nursing. Having everything at your fingertips is key because once you have baby latched just right, you aren’t doing anything to jeopardize that.
4. A giant water bottle
Your body needs to stay very hydrated to produce milk, and I often found myself ravenously thirsty after a nursing session. Keeping a giant water bottle on the side table next to the glider made it easy to rehydrate during and after. I love the cute “Drink More Water, Make More Milk” message on this water bottle that helps you track your intake:
5. A great breast pump
If you’re going back to work, a reliable, powerful double-electric breast pump is essential. If you’re not going back to work, I’d say a breast pump is still pretty darn essential if you ever want anyone to be able to feed the baby besides you. After about 4 weeks, I started to pump occasionally so that #DoneWithFun Daddy could feed the baby for one of the overnight feeds and I could get some extra sleep. Even if you choose to do all the nighttime feeds, having a supply of pumped milk allows you to leave your baby for some small period of time, to wander aimlessly at Target or get a pedicure or take a nap in your car.
I used the mom-favorite Medela Pump In Style Advanced with both my kids. It was a workhorse that went strong for 14 months of regular pumping with Easton. When Sawyer was born, I replaced the tubing on the old pump for sanitary reasons and left it at home as my backup pump. (I was lucky enough that my insurance provided 1 pump per baby.) NOT having to cart the entire pump back and forth to work each day was fantastic.
Another mom-favorite is the Spectra S2. It is considered a closed- system “hospital grade” pump. My insurance did not cover this as an option, but if it had, it would have been my choice for Baby #2 due to the overwhelming number of reviews and recommendations from friends and moms in my online communities. Whether you choose Spectra or Medela, however, you’ll end up with a reliable, durable breast pump that will likely last you beyond your first baby.
6. Lots of extra pump parts and bottles
What surprised me most about breastfeeding and pumping after I went back to work is the sheer volume of hand-wash items. Every night, I washed pump parts and bottle parts and milk storage bottles. Repeat, repeat, repeat to infinity. So, invest in extra breastshields and pump bottles. Have replacement membranes waiting at the ready for when your first set wears out and your pump starts to lose suction. You’ll thank yourself.
Pro tip: If you are pumping multiple times per day, you don’t have to wash the pump parts in between as long as you refrigerate them! Why didn’t I know this with my first?? Just wipe the pieces off and place in a Ziploc bag or other container in the fridge in between pump sessions. Washing all the parts only once a day instead of three times a day was seriously LIFE.CHANGING.
7. Nursing camis
With Easton, I wore nursing bras daily. With Sawyer, I gave up and just wore a nursing cami under everything. It was the easiest access and it allowed me to use the “two-shirt” method for discreetly nursing in public. Basically, you flip up your top layer, unsnap your nursing cami and pull it down just enough to allow baby to latch. Your stomach is still covered and the top layer offers some additional coverage for modesty. It took me a long time to get comfortable enough to nurse in public, but I struggled with the wraps and scarves and canopies. My kids didn’t want to eat under them and I don’t blame them! Thus, the decision to wear a nursing cami every.single.day for well over a year, until we weren’t nursing during the daytime anymore.
The Bravado nursing cami was my favorite. Get one. Get 5. At the very least, get 1 in black and 1 in white. They are pricy but worth it: comfortable, holds up well to multiple washings, and sold in bra sizes to provide a better fit with more support.
The earliest days of nursing my boys were spent in a nursing tank with the My Breast Friend around my waist … all.day.long.
8. One good nursing bra
There are (very few) times where your somewhat unsupported, possibly saggy boobs in only a nursing cami is not acceptable. (Think: Date nights. Work events. Parties with people you haven’t seen since having a baby.) Invest in at least one really good nursing bra that gives you shape and support. I thought of this as my “going-out” nursing bra, which is fairly hilarious considering the limited amount of going out you do in the early days of having a newborn.
Natori, Ingrid & Isabel, and HotMilk all sell comfortable wireless nursing bras with good support. (Most lactation consultants advise avoiding underwire because it can lead to clogged ducts.)
This Natori was my go-to:
Pro tip: Nordstrom can convert any bra into a nursing bra for a small alteration fee!
9. Resources and support
Know where to go for education and support. Find a local lactation consultant (IBCLCs are preferred) that other moms recommend. Join breastfeeding groups on Facebook to ask questions, get advice, and just sound off at 4 AM when you’re slowly losing your mind from sleep deprivation. Discover reputable websites as sources of help for issues and concerns. Kellymom was a lifesaver for me on more than one occasion, and Dr. Jack Newman’s practical advice was also reassuring. If you haven’t learned it already, there’s strength in motherhood. I learned so much from online communities of women that I would otherwise never have discovered on my own.
10. A partner who gets it (or tries)
I can’t emphasize this enough. Get your partner on board and let them help you. In the early days, have them get up in the night with you. They can change the diaper and help you position the baby to perfect the latch. But even after the newborn phase winds down, having a supportive partner is so important to help you accomplish your goals. Breastfeeding is HARD and it helps to have a cheerleader in your court, especially one that listens to your needs, your frustrations, and your fears.
It’s true that most dads just don’t quite “get it,” no matter how hard they try. Biologically, they can’t breastfeed so they don’t have that bond, and maybe they don’t understand why it’s so important to you. But they don’t have to “get it” as long as they unconditionally support you.
These 10 things won’t solve all your breastfeeding woes, but they will take you far. What’s the best piece of breastfeeding advice you received? Share it with #NeverDoneWithFun. And if you’re feeling discouraged, know that I’ve been there too and I’m just an email away. Love and luck, mama. You’ve got this.
