Why I’m Running My First Marathon
It’s September. Starting Week 14 of marathon training. And this is when it gets hard.
My long runs are distances I’ve literally never run before. (Hello, 18 miles yesterday. I see you. I’m still feeling you.) In two weeks, I run 20 and then thankfully begin the taper that leads up to the marathon on October 12.
But worse even than those long runs, my mid-week midlength run is now veering into long run territory. It used to be 6 miles I could knock out in just over an hour. Now it’s 9…or 10. Who has almost 2 hours on a weeknight for a run?
I’m writing this post today to answer the messages and questions from you all about why I’m doing this. But I’m also writing it to remind myself. Because yes, it’s hard. And yes, many days I want to quit.
The question on all of our minds: WHY on earth did I sign up for a marathon?
Honestly, if you know me at all, the simple truth won’t surprise you:
To see if I can do it.
It’s why I do so many of the (occasionally crazy) things I do. Not to show off or to brag. Just to see if I can. To go outside my comfort zone and puzzle out how to be successful. I enjoy a challenge. I push myself. Hard. I set goals upon goals. A marathon is the biggest, most audacious goal yet — and there’s still a part of me that isn’t 100% sure I’m going to cross the finish line. But I’ll tell you what. That niggling doubt is a lot smaller now than it was when I started training 14 weeks ago.
If I can crush this big, audacious goal, it fuels my confidence to set — and crush — my next big, audacious goal. Whatever that may be.
But also:
Marathon training is keeping me accountable.
Training for a fall marathon means that training started at the beginning of the summer. This timing is ideal for me because summer is when I tend to relax my habits and eat and drink all the summer things.
And while there has been a lot of the above this summer, weekly Sunday long runs of ever-increasing distances means I couldn’t just go off the rails every Saturday night. I need a goal big enough to keep me accountable this summer — and 26.2 miles is proving to be big enough. The thought of hauling an extra 15 pounds of flab those 26.2 miles is just enough incentive to work harder than ever to find a workable balance. My weight has increased a little (more on that later) but at least some of it is muscle.
It’s teaching me to love my body for what it can do, not what it looks like.
Marathon training is changing my body. My legs are strong and muscular. My quads are bigger, my calves are solid, and I have some semblance of lift to my ass for the first time in my life.
At the same time, my core and my arms are softer and fuller. I’m not using those muscles as much as I did with regular HIIT workouts, so I’ve lost some muscle definition and put on a few pounds.
And yet — it doesn’t bother me the way it usually does. I look in the mirror and see a body that is running mile after mile after mile, consistently and frequently. I don’t love the way my body looks as a marathon runner but I love how I feel about myself. Strong. Powerful. Unstoppable.
It’s proving that training WORKS.
Fourteen weeks ago, I couldn’t run 18 consecutive miles. The only time I’d ever run more than 10 was for my half-marathon race day — and that was only one 13.1.
But you train and you get stronger and you get more capable. I’m following Hal Higdon’s Novice program, running 4 days a week. That’s more than I’ve ever run before — and it works. I can feel it on my long runs. I can see it in the consistency of my splits. I can recognize it in the speed of post-run recovery.
I still have some, ahem, serious concerns about the difference between 20 miles (the longest you run during training) and the 26.2 of the marathon. But I’m trusting the process and trusting my training. If training can get all these other runners across the finish line, it should get me there too.
It’s showing me not just the value but the absolute necessity of rest days.
My training plan calls for two rest days per week. I’m taking two rest days a week. My body needs them to recover from the long runs and have time to build strength and endurance.
Prior to marathon training, I treated rest days as a “maybe” — maybe I’d honor them, most of the time I wouldn’t. But this far into the training program, I can’t risk an injury that would undo all that I’ve done. And that means rest.
Plus — I’m TIRED. Really tired. Not just after a long run, but a lot of the time. I know it’s because I’m asking a lot of my body. The least I can do in return is respect it with rest days, extra sleep, proper stretching, and proper (ish) fuel.
I’m crossing something off my bucket list.
Yeah, somewhere along the way of my #fitnessjourney, I became a runner. I’m hooked. I love the quiet in my head. I love the feeling of accomplishment afterward. I never thought I’d be a runner, so running a marathon represents a huge item on my bucket list. (Again with that whole “can-I-do-it” thing.)
I’m not getting any younger. So the time is now.
Now let’s look at the flip side.
NOT why I’m running a marathon:
To hit any sort of time goal or PR.
This is my first (only?) marathon. My only goal is to finish. And not die. Not dying = very important.
From the beginning, I’ve said I would only run the marathon if it felt right for my body. I’m not going to kill myself or risk serious injury just to cross something off my bucket list. But it does feel right for my body. And the day of the race, I’ll listen to my body. If that means walking part of it or slowing my pace, I’ll do it without thinking twice. A marathon isn’t really a test of speed, at least not for me. It’s a test of endurance. So I’ll do whatever it takes to (literally) go the distance.
To lose weight.
You’d think the weight would be falling right off me, right? I’m burning upward of 1,800 on some runs. Ha! Nope. If anything, I’ve gained. It’s true that I’m not eating my cleanest right now. But marathon training makes you hungry! Constantly hungry. And craving carbs, especially sugary carbs.
I’m staying off the scale right now and focusing on making healthier choices during the week while allowing some indulgences on the weekend. If I’m going to work this hard, I am going to enjoy myself while I do it. But at the end of the marathon, I also don’t want to find that I’ve gained 20 pounds in post-long run ice cream weight this summer… I’m not deluding myself into thinking the extra weight is 100% muscle.
To put that 26.2 sticker on my car.
Welllllll…this isn’t entirely true but it’s not the only reason I’m running a marathon anyway 😉But I will proudly display that sticker on my Subaru when I finish because my body will have done epic shit and I’m proud of myself.
So that’s the low-down on marathon training for the moment. Five weeks left to go, and I’ll tell you I’m counting down the days. I’m tired. I’m sick of running. But I’ll keep going now and on October 12, because I’ve come this far and I’m definitely not throwing away all the hours and miles of effort now! No regrets.
But I welcome all prayers, cheerleading, positive vibes, good juju, energy, advice, and straight-up magic from now until the afternoon of October 12 (when I’ll be lying in my bed and vowing never to run again).
Thanks for all your encouragement and support. You are the reason I keep going — you believe in me even when I don’t. And that means everything. 💜
What’s one really hard thing you’ve tackled in your life and succeeded? Tell me in the comments below or on social media with #neverdonewithfun.
