It’s now been three weekends in a row that #DoneWithFun Daddy and I have had a legitimate date. Time away from the home, without the kids. With an actual scheduled activity rather than ending up running errands at Target after dinner before coming home to the babysitter (OK, our parents) at an embarrassingly early hour.
I’m not discounting the value of our low-key date nights, where we go out to dinner, talk, have a couple of drinks, and then maybe run one of those gripping errands like buying bras at Nordstrom (me), buying underwear at Kohl’s (him), or buying Christmas presents at Toy R Us (guess who).
But as I work toward fitness goals and a healthier lifestyle, the standard dinner-and-drinks formula doesn’t work as well anymore. I’m always trying to brainstorm some fresh “date night” activities that aren’t focused on eating and drinking.
Variety is the spice of life, and spice is exactly what a marriage with kids needs. We are celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in just a few weeks; one thing I’ve learned from more than a decade of marriage is that you do have to change it up sometimes.
So the next time you have a babysitter lined up, day or evening, consider these outside-the-box date experiences.
5 Things to Do on Date Night Besides Eat and Drink
1. Get creative.
If you follow this blog regularly, you know that getting creative is one of my favorite activities. Luckily, #DoneWithFun Daddy has his own creative side and is willing to indulge me. There are all kinds of artistic experiences available now, and many of them offer Groupons or other deals (so check before you book!)
The classic wine-and-paint night at one of the local studios, where all the students create their variation of the same painting under the expertise of a teacher, was a great way to us to dive in. The only problem? #DoneWithFun Daddy and I are both pretty intense. So while we found the painting evening incredibly relaxing, we didn’t talk almost at all during the painting and barely sipped our wine. We were that focused on our painting.
So the next time around, I went with something a little more relaxed. Plant Nite offers terrarium-making classes at local bars and restaurants. They bring all the supplies and guide you through the planting and decorating process. You can order food or drinks while you create. The end products are unique and fun, but you do have to keep them alive afterward. I’m not much of a green thumb and this was surprisingly challenging.
Also on my creative date night bucket list are a glass-blowing workshop (but we’ll have to venture downtown for that), a wooden sign-making class at Board and Brush, and some type of cooking class. Stay tuned for details on these experiences in 2019.
2. Get relaxed.
Let’s face it: Parenting is rewarding but hard as hell, and no mom or dad I know would ever argue with a little bit of pampering and relaxation. Even before kids, a couple’s massage was one of our favorite splurge dates. This summer, we explored the AIRE Ancient Baths experience in downtown Chicago. Since it was our first time, we opted not to get any massage or body wrap service and simply experience the basic ritual: 90 minutes of soaking in various baths and water experiences. From the candlelit restored-factory setting to the underwater music in the saltwater float pool, every minute was bliss. We can’t wait to go back … and this time we’ll be trying one of the indulgent private services.
Relaxation doesn’t have to be extravagant. A 60-minute couple’s massage at one of the massage franchises is still 60 minutes where you are lying down and someone is working the stress out of your muscles. I’ve also won #DoneWithFun Daddy over on the occasional pedicure. I know he feels silly at the beginning, but when they start in on the foot massage and hot towels, he’s sold.
Our big destination for 2019 is the Kohler Waters Spa at the American Club. The only thing better than a couple of hours of pampering … is an entire day or two of pampering while the kids are at home with Grandma and Grandpa.
3. Get physical.
Um, no. Not in the way that you might be thinking. At least not until after the date is over.
But getting your blood pumping as a couple might be the spark you need. Fitness is a big part of my life but frankly, it’s just not #DoneWithFun Daddy’s thing, and that’s OK. He is happiest taking a long walk with the dog, while I’m usually looking for a little more adrenaline. We’ll never be the couple that runs together or CrossFits together, but we are a couple that tries new things together.
One of #DoneWithFun Daddy’s bucket list items was to go rock climbing. I have negative memories of rock climbing from high school, but I’m not the person I was in high school anymore. So I said I’d give it a shot. About 10 minutes in, I realized that rock climbing is really, really hard. After 40 minutes, my arm and hand muscles were shot. I never got all the way to the top of any of the wall (not even the wall that I sheepishly watched a 6-year-old scale in 4 minutes flat), but it was an experience and we had fun trying it out. We were humbled by our relative lack of skill, although #DoneWithFun Daddy literally climbed circles around me in this activity.
We also took an aerial yoga class at the Morton Arboretum last summer that was one of my favorite dates. It was a perfect summer day with the breeze and the shade of the breeze and the peace of yoga in the silks. I’ve been back one other time and while it was fun, it just wasn’t quite the same as the initial magic with #DoneWithFun Daddy.
In the spring, we’re considering tennis. I don’t know if that will be lessons or just lobbing a ball back and forth at a local court when no one else is around, but I never say no to a date that involves exercise.
4. Get outside.
#DoneWithFun Daddy loves the great outdoors. Me, not so much. But just as he is embracing some fitness activities for me, I am embracing some outdoor activities for him. Last weekend, we kayaked the DuPage River on a 2-hour, 4-mile expedition. Only for my husband would I brave the cold and wet to do this in October, but out on the river, with the sunshine and the fall color change all around us, it was magic. At the end, I told him I’m absolutely game to do it again. But next time I’d prefer an trip in mid-May with weather in the 70s.
We also snuck off to Blackwell Forest Preserve today to try our hand at archery. Spoiler alert: It’s way harder than it looks on TV. It took me 30 tries before I actually hit the target just once, but I was determined that I wasn’t going home until I hit it. Katniss Everdeen I’m certainly not, but trying something new is a date activity I’m always up for. I love a challenge and I like to think #DoneWithDaddy finds my ineptitude combined with persistence endearing.
Next year, I’m going to book us for a stand-up paddleboard yoga class together. I tried my first class last summer and I loved it; I think #DoneWithFun Daddy would enjoy it too. A day trip to Starved Rock for a hike without the stress of bringing our kids may also be on the 2019 agenda.
5. Get your nerd on.
Some of our most favorite dates over the past 11 years together have been exploring the museums of Chicago, most notably the Field Museum. It’s one of our favorite spots (even though we have polar-opposite priorities for the “must-see” exhibits). Wandering its hallowed halls, taking in the exhibits, and having actual grown-up conversations about topics other than children or to-do lists, is restorative for us in a way that dinner and drinks just isn’t.
We’ve also attended book readings and art exhibits. Challenging your mind together is a great way to bond, so I’m considering an escape room for one of our next dates. It’s a bit of a dicey proposition: We don’t always work great together under pressure. So the Escape Room could either be really fun or borderline disastrous. As long as we can (eventually) laugh about it…
Whatever you decide to do to reconnect as a couple, schedule your alone time to make sure it happens regularly. At the beginning of 2018, I set a goal to have monthly dates with #DoneWithFun Daddy. Marriage has to be a priority, just like the kids, work, and everything else important to us. I’ll be honest that monthly date nights have not materialized; we are lucky to get in quarterly dates. But that just means this is a goal we’ll have to work harder at in 2019.
What’s your favorite way to reconnect as a couple? Share your favorite date idea in the comments below or on social media with #NeverDoneWithFun. I want to get date nights on the books for December before the holidays are upon us.
