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Recharge. Reignite. Rediscover. As we go into summer, those three little words are my mantra for what I want out of the next three months. I want to explore more of what I already love and push myself to meet new challenges and find new passions. A lot of changes are ahead of me this year, and focusing on myself in addition to my family is the fuel I need to face those changes head-on.

Mandy Hale said it better than I ever could: “It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, to make happiness a priority. It’s necessary.”

Make summer 2018 about the journey, not the destination, and don’t be afraid to make yourself a priority, for once. The “Mom-Me Time” Summer Bucket List provides a little inspiration if yours is lagging.

It comes as zero surprise to me that both my boys tend to be a little anxious, especially in new settings, and don’t adapt well to change. They see that behavior modeled by me (and #DoneWithFun Daddy too) on a fairly regular basis, despite our best efforts to keep it under control.

I’ve been dealing with anxiety on and off since high school. I’ve found what works for me and I’m in a good place now, but the unknown still throws me for a loop.

So you also shouldn’t be surprised when I confess that kindergarten is, um, really throwing me for a loop. Definitely more so than it is for Easton.

What is it about kindergarten for moms? My boys have been in daycare full-time since they were 6 months old, so it’s not the physical separation. For me, it’s what kindergarten represents: The next step of our family life. The school-age stage, with homework, added extracurricular activities, and new social pressures for moms and kids alike. It’s facing the reality that E is growing up whether I like it or not, and I have to give up some control as a mom while I let him navigate his own independence.

I really hate to give up control.

I also know this fall, I’m going to have to find new routines to get everyone where they need to go – now three different places in the morning instead of two. And I’m going to need new routines for after school too – adding in time for homework, lunch making, and backpack packing. I already feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done, so how can I possibly add more to the mix?

But one thing I’ve learned as a parent over the past five years is the power to adapt. While I don’t think of my kids as particularly flexible, I am constantly blown away by their ability to adapt, so much more easily than I give them credit for.

In fact, not only do they adapt but they thrive. My boys demonstrate on a regular basis that the only constant in life is change, and we can either embrace it or be left behind.

As the start of kindergarten is just around the corner, I choose to embrace change. To look at this stage as a new adventure and a way to expand our social circle, to deepen our connection to our neighborhood and community, and to grow as a mother and a person. E is going to change so much over the next year and beyond, and I don’t want to be left behind.

That doesn’t mean the next few months will be without uncertainty. Just as I want to make the most of this summer for my kids, I want to give myself the same gift. As a mom, I’ve learned that you can’t pour from an empty vessel. So this summer I’m checking off the Mom-Me Time Summer Bucket List too. I’m going to fill my own bucket so that come September, there’s something left to pour from.

What’s on my bucket list? Here’s my own Mom-Me Time printable, with details below. If none of these goals strike your fancy, think about one thing you want out of this summer that pushes you a little outside your comfort zone and do that instead. It doesn’t matter what you do to take time for yourself, as long as you do it.

Download Mom-Me Time Summer Bucket List printable

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The Mom-Me Time Summer Bucket List Goals

recharge

1. Just breathe. I’ve dipped my toes into the practice of yoga several times over the past year and love how it makes me feel: pushing my body and mind while letting go at the same time. I want to elevate my yoga practice this summer to see if it helps me calm some of the fears I talked about. Plus, I have a really cute tank top with a French bulldog doing yoga I can’t wait to wear. Here’s where I’ll be this summer:
   • Aerial tree yoga at Morton Arboretum. I took this 1-hour class last year, and it was the most relaxing hour of my entire summer. I can’t wait to do it again.
   • NEXT Yoga Root to Rise Festival. Outside at the Morton Arboretum, with a live DJ class, plus mini-experiences, swag bag, and more. You can even bring the kids for a free kids’ soccer workshop. (But honestly, I’ll be leaving mine at home because post-yoga bliss and kids don’t mix very well.)
   • Yoga brunch at Pinstripes. Because yoga should always be followed by brunch, right?

2. Summer brunching. The only thing better than brunch is summer brunch, possibly outdoors, definitely with booze. While I love my husband, I believe brunch is an indulgence best enjoyed with girlfriends and hopefully accompanied by variations on my favorite drinks. Peach Bellini? Yes, please. Frosé? If you don’t know what that is, you owe it to yourself to Google it. Mimosa? Can’t go wrong with a classic. Brunch in the suburbs isn’t at quite the same level as brunch in the city, but these two come close:
   • Meson Sabika (Naperville). Outside is a must, if the weather cooperates. Sangria is also a must.
   • Buttermilk (Naperville or Geneva). Butterscotch latte AND frosé at one meal because it’s summer. And brunch. And delicious. Though actually, I have yet to have anything on this menu that isn’t delicious.

3. Pampering for one. Nothing says “recharge” like an hour (or even better, a whole day) at the spa for massage, facial, mani/pedi or anything else. I’m booking my appointments now for:
   • Pedicure at ME SPA (Naperville). I’m told the ME SPA Signature PediCURE involves a zero-gravity reclining chair and a blanket wrap as well as the usual pedicure amenities of soak, scrub, massage, and more.
   • Girls’ spa day at Kohler Waters (Burr Ridge). The Holy Grail of spa experiences, I’ve never been to the Kohler Waters Spa but I’m more than ready to check it out. My BFFs and I can’t escape to the Wisconsin location quite yet, so we’ll give the local option in Burr Ridge a shot first. I’m hoping to make a whole day of it and come home a blissed-out new version of myself.
   • Anicca Float Spa (Naperville). I’ve never tried a float tank, so I’m curious to see if I love it or hate it. I’m willing to give anything that involves an Epsom salt soak in a quiet, tranquil space, ALL BY MYSELF with no interruptions, a try. Did I mention it’s quiet? This mom’s dream come true.

reignite

#DoneWithFun Daddy and I have been married 10 years, with kids for 5 of those years. As any mom knows all too well, “date night” suffers after kids. We’re tired after the work week, and there’s a lot to get accomplished on the weekends just to stay afloat the next week. But this summer, I want to prioritize my marriage in the same way that I’ve learned to prioritize myself. I couldn’t do all that I do without his constant support. Here’s what we’re doing to reignite that spark this summer:

1. 24 child-free hours – location TBD. Somehow in an entire calendar year, we usually only find 1 weekend to get away together, kid-free, and remember what life was like before we had kids. Sure, neither of us can sleep past 6:30 anymore (thanks so much, E), but we do both love to enjoy multiple restaurant meals in a row where we don’t have to cut anyone’s meal into small pieces or get up 100 times for more milk, ketchup, ranch. It’s the little thing that matter, right? I’ll post our itinerary when I decide where this year’s overnight will be. Sometimes the research is almost as much fun as the destination.

2. Alfresco dining. Nothing says summer like patios and rooftops for date night. (I’m choosing to ignore the potential annoyance of bugs.) I love the breeze in my hair and the sunset turning to dark. Planning to make sure summer includes, at a minimum:
   • A beautifully curated charcuterie plate at Marche in Glen Ellyn
   • Dinner on the rooftop at Sogno in Wheaton
   • Rooftop drinks and music at Empire Burgers + Brew in Naperville

3. Pampering for two. A trip to Italy is on our ultimate bucket list but not in the cards for this summer. For an indulgence closer to home, we are booked at AIRE Ancient Baths Chicago. Combining my love of all things spa with hubby’s passion for history, it’s Roman-inspired, candlelit baths with limited guests per time slot for maximum privacy and multiple treatment “experiences” to choose from. I’m still struggling to pick just one experience, honestly. Stay tuned. (In case you were wondering, swimsuits are required – nude bathing is not something on my bucket list … ever.)

I don’t want to say these will be our only date nights all summer long – but this is a list of 5 things and there are only 3 months of summer, so we’re going to start here and see how far we get. You know as well as I do that more than one date night per month is verging on overindulgence. What would we even talk about with all that free time?? 😉

rediscover

Over the past year, I’ve transformed myself inside and out, but I sometimes feel like I’m still figuring out exactly who I am now and what I want. It’s a process, and sometimes the little things are more telling than the grand gestures. With that mindset, here are my low-key avenues for rediscovering self this summer:

1. 1. Nordstrom personal shopper for summer essentials. Not ready to reinvent yourself? Reinvent your wardrobe! I’m still constantly puzzled by what a mom my age “should” be wearing. Are there perfect mom shorts? What do I wear to that summer wedding? Luckily, there are Nordstrom personal shoppers who take the guesswork out for me. If you haven’t tried this free service, it’s honestly life-changing. I’ve done it twice before and the pieces I end up with are always my favorite things in my closet and styles I definitely wouldn’t have even tried on by myself.

    

   2. Running a 10K race. I ran my first 5K in April and was surprised to discover exactly how empowered I felt afterward: setting a goal and completing it. I’m a reluctant runner, but the more I do it, the more I find that I like the quiet I discover while running. For those minutes, no one needs me and there’s just me in my head. That’s freedom. A summer bucket list needs at least one challenge, so the Cosley Zoo Run for the Animals 10K is my fitness goal. I haven’t officially signed up yet but it’s just a couple of weeks away. Time to start pounding the pavement in preparation.

    

   3. “Oil slick” hair. This is my summer “stretch” – the one thing I keep going back and forth about. I’ve wanted to put pretty colors into my hair for years and summer is the perfect time to have a little fun. But every summer, I end up losing my nerve. Am I too old? Just not fun enough after all? Rediscovering yourself can be more than a little intimidating.

I’m a mom and so I’m a realist – there’s no way I’m going to be able to accomplish every single item on my summer bucket list. But my goal is to try more things on this list than end up not trying. I’ll keep you posted on how I do.

Whether you’ve temporarily lost yourself in motherhood and need to find yourself again, or you already recognize your own worth and want to celebrate it, give yourself permission to try at least one new thing this summer. If you feel recharged and energized afterward, try another. You never know where it will take you.

What’s on your bucket list? Share your own with me with #NeverDoneWithFun. I’m always looking for new inspiration.